112 Hilarious Basketball Jokes And Puns That Will Net A Ton Of Laughs (2022)

You don’t have to shoot like Stephen Curry to love basketball. It’s one of those games that has built an entire culture behind it. Some of us may not know all the stats or the rules behind the game, but sinking a shot is always a good feeling. And so is hearing a good basketball joke.

If you’re more of a Harlem Globetrotter than a Michael Jordan, you’ll truly appreciate these super funny basketball jokes and puns. Fouls, traveling, dunks, March Madness, and jump shots are all fair game here. You’re not alone in your search for slam dunks in the joke department, either. According to the latest search data available to us, “basketball jokes” is searched for nearly 2,400 times per month. The ball is in your court, so enjoy! And if you’re in the mood for more sports jokes, we have the joke hook up for football, soccer, and so much more.

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  1. Why’d the chicken cross the basketball court?

He heard the ref was blowing fouls.

  1. Why can’t basketball players go on vacation?

They aren’t allowed to travel.

  1. Why did the elephants stampede onto the basketball court?

They played for the Chargers.

  1. Where is a basketball player’s favorite place to eat?

Dunkin’ Donuts.

  1. What is the favorite sport of a bass fish?

Bass-get-ball.

  1. What is Santa’s favorite basketball team?

The New York Old St. Nicks.

  1. Why did Cinderella fail at basketball?

Because she ran away from the ball

  1. What do you do when you see an elephant with a basketball?

Get out of the way.

  1. Why don’t basketball players don’t like to leave their hometown?

They hate traveling so much.

  1. Toronto missed out on an opportunity to call their basketball team the Torontosaurus Rexes.
  2. Why is Cinderella so bad at basketball?

Her coach is a pumpkin.

  1. I hear that Mr. Worldwide often gets called out in basketball. He’s always trying to travel.
  2. What do you call the basketball move where you drink too much alcohol and score?

Slam Drunk!

  1. What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops?

Swiss!

  1. My dad is really good at basketball.

He always told me, “I’ve been Duncan all my life.”

  1. I invited my flat-earther friend to play basketball.

He brought a frisbee with him.

  1. Why did the fish refuse to play basketball?

He was afraid of the net.

  1. Which fast-food chain would be a good basketball player?

Dunkin’ Donuts.

  1. What’s the difference between Basketball players and Soccer players?

Basketball players get actual injuries.

  1. If a jockey wears jockey shorts, and a basketball player wears basketball shorts, what kind of shorts does the President wear?

Depends.

  1. Why hasn’t Europe ever won Olympic gold in basketball?

Because Europe isn’t a country.

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  1. What do you call a shark that plays basketball?

A Sharq.

  1. Why does Jesus get nervous when playing basketball?

He’s afraid of getting crossed up.

  1. What do an angry bunny and a pro basketball player have in common?

Mad hops.

  1. They always asked me if I play basketball because I was tall.

They stopped asking me that when I asked them if they play mini-golf.RELATED: 24 Gym Jokes And Puns That Will Get You Pumped For The Treadmill

  1. The blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on a basketball court…

The game would be canceled.

  1. What do you call a ninja who is good at basketball?

A Kobe Shinobi!

  1. What do you call a basketball player who smells really good?

Kevin Deodurant.

  1. I used to be addicted to basketball,

but I rebounded.

  1. How many NCAA basketball players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he gets money, a car, and three credit hours for it.

  1. Why are basketball players messy eaters?

They’re always dribbling.

  1. What did the March say to all the madness?

“What’s all that bracket?”

  1. Why did Ron Artest leave the game early?

He wanted to beat the crowd.

  1. How do you know when it’s LeBron James’ Birthday?

Everyone gets to leave work 12 minutes early.

  1. Why are frogs so good at basketball?

Because they always make jump shots.

  1. What did the triangle offense say to the ball?

“You’re pointless.”

  1. What does a basketball player do when he loses his eyesight?

Become a referee.

  1. What do you call a fantasy show about basketball?

Hooper-natural.

  1. What’s the difference between the Miami Heats and a dollar bill?

You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

  1. What do you call 12 millionaires around a TV watching the NBA Finals?

The Detroit Pistons.

  1. Which are the best animals in basketball?

A score-pion.

  1. Why can’t you play basketball in the jungle?

Because there are too many cheetahs.

  1. Why is a referee like an angry chicken?

They both have foul mouths.

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  1. Why is the basketball arena hot after the game?

Because all the fans have left.

  1. What do you call a basketball player that misses dunks?

Alley Whoops.

  1. Why couldn’t the baby make a basket?

Because he was always dribbling. RELATED: 15 Best Basketballs For Kids – Just Don’t Let Me Catch You Playing Ball In The Damn House

  1. How do you keep a Milwaukee Bucks player out of your yard?

Put up a basketball net.

  1. What does a basketball player say when he misses?

“Shoot.”

  1. What does a Miami Heat fan do when his team has won the NBA Finals?

He turns off the PlayStation.

  1. Did you hear about the basketball team that doesn’t have a website?

They can’t string three “Ws” together.

  1. If Shaquille O’Neal was a shade of blue, he would be Shaquille O’Teal.
  2. What is the difference between a Suns’ fan and a baby?

The baby will stop whining after a while.

  1. How many New York Knicks players does it take to change a tire?

One, unless it’s a blowout, in which case they all show up.

  1. If a basketball team was chasing a baseball team, what time would it be?

Five after nine.

  1. Why doesn’t Albany have a professional basketball team?

Because then New York City would want one, too.

  1. What do you call a Knicks player with a championship ring?

A senior citizen.

  1. Why did the basketball player sit on the sideline and sketch pictures of chickens?

He was learning how to draw fowls.

  1. Why can’t you play basketball with pigs?

They hog the ball.

  1. What’s the difference between Kevin McHale and time?

Time passes.

  1. What do the stock market and Knicks season ticket holders have in common?

They both get negative returns.

  1. If a basketball player gets athlete’s foot, what does an astronaut get?

Missle toe!

  1. What do you call a pig who plays basketball?

A ball hog.

  1. What’s the difference between treasury bonds and OKC fans?

Treasury bonds eventually mature.

  1. What do you call an unbelievable story about a basketball player?

A tall tale.

  1. Who was the poet of basketball?

Longfellow.

  1. What’s a pirate’s favorite basketball move?

Jump hook.

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  1. They’re a team in transition.

They’re going from bad to worse.

  1. What’s the difference between a dog and a basketball player?

One drools, the other dribbles.

  1. Why is a scrambled egg like a losing basketball team?

Because they both have been beaten.

  1. In what sport is a basket filled but never gets full?

Basketball.

  1. What do basketball cheerleaders drink before they go to a basketball game?

Root beer!

  1. Why couldn’t the basketball player listen to his music?

Because he broke a record!

  1. Why do basketball players love cookies?

Because they can dunk them!

  1. Why didn’t the nose make the basketball team?

He didn’t get picked.

  1. What does a hunter do with a basketball?

He shoots it!

  1. If you rush a circumcision to watch the start of a basketball game , You are quickly taking the tip off not to miss the tip-off.
  2. How do basketball players stay cool during a game?

They stand near the fans.

  1. If you were a basketball, I’d never shoot.

Because I’d always miss you.

  1. What violation do ghosts get called for the most in basketball?

Ghoul tending.

  1. What do you call a person who walks back and forth screaming one minute, then sits down weeping uncontrollably the next?

A basketball coach.

  1. Why was the basketball court wet?

Because people were dribbling on it!

  1. Why did people in the NBA think Michael Jordan was conceited?

Because he was always putting on Airs.

  1. I’ve got a great idea for an NBA-themed fast-food restaurant.

I call it Shake-Shaq.

  1. Did you hear about the referee that got fired from the NBA?

Supposedly he’s a whistleblower.

  1. God and Satan arranged a basketball game between Heaven and Hell.

“I know for a fact we are gonna win,” said God. “We have all the best players up here: Wilt Chamberlain, Moses Malone, Kobe Bryant, and so on.” “I wouldn’t count on that, God,” said Satan. “You see, down here, we have all the referees.”

  1. Just saw a fight between a basketball player and a YouTuber.

Don’t listen to the media. The basketball player will win in the courts.

  1. Basketball sued tennis for no reason.

Now they have to go to court.

  1. What is the urologist’s favorite part in basketball?

The dribbles.

  1. My tennis career has taught me I can be the best basketball player ever.

Nothing but net.

  1. Did you know Steven Spielberg and John Williams like to play basketball together?

He shoots, he scores.

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  1. Did you hear about that bloody hilarious basketball team?

The Hemoglobetrotters?

  1. How did the guy with no hair do during his basketball game?

Oh, he bald.

  1. Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?

They dribble all the time.

  1. I couldn’t figure out why the basketball kept getting larger and larger.

Then it hit me.

  1. The anti-vax basketball team lost every game this season.

Apparently they never take any shots.

  1. What did the devil worshiping basketball player say?

“Baal is life.”

  1. Why can’t dinosaurs play basketball?

Because they are dead.

  1. Basketball players are the most upstanding members of society.

They really are people to look up to.

  1. Been watching basketball lately, and I gotta say I can hardly tolerate Kevin Durant.

He stinks compared to his brother, Deo.

  1. Why did the basketball team join a craft club?

Because they wanted to learn how to make baskets!

  1. I was going to pass it to you…

But the hoop was open first.

  1. What’s the difference between the New York Knicks and a dollar bill?

You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

  1. What’s the difference between a Sun’s fan and a baby?

The baby will stop whining after a while.

  1. What do basketball players do when they can no longer see?

They become referees.

  1. What do Bulls fans do after Chicago wins the championship?

Rewind the VHS tape.

  1. What do you call a shrimp that’s really good at basketball?

Leprawn James.

  1. Why can’t basketball players go on vacation?

They aren’t allowed to travel.

  1. Basketball players are afraid of themselves.

They don’t like great heights.

  1. A brawl took place in a basketball game. A judge came in and used his gavel to stop it.

He brought order in the court.

  1. Did you hear about that new sci-fi basketball show?

It’s called Hooper Natural.

  1. I couldn’t figure out why the basketball kept getting bigger and bigger.

Then it hit me.

  1. Why don’t fish like basketball?

They’re afraid of the nets.

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FAQs

What are some basketball phrases? ›

Basketball Terms Explained
  • Airball. A shot attempt that was off the mark and didn't touch the basket or the backboard.
  • Alley-oop. ...
  • Assist. ...
  • Backboard. ...
  • Box Out. ...
  • Brick. ...
  • Double-Double. ...
  • Double Dribble.

What are 10 key words associated with the sport basketball? ›

10 Words From Basketball
  • Slam dunk. Definition: something that is sure to happen or to be successful. ...
  • Full-court press. Photo: majorvols. ...
  • Alley-oop. ...
  • Jump shot. ...
  • Playmaker. ...
  • Point guard. ...
  • Hoopster. ...
  • Sixth man.

What do you yell at a basketball game? ›

5 Best Cheers and Chants for Basketball Games
  • The “Beat Em” Chant. B-E-A-T beat 'em! B-U-S-T bust 'em! Beat 'em, bust 'em, that's our custom! Gooooo [Team Name]!
  • The “Fight” Chant. Fight, (Team Name), Fight!!! (And repeat as many as you want)
  • The “Let's Go” Chant!
8 Jul 2022

What does D up mean in basketball? ›

D-Up: An abbreviated term for playing defense. The term is usually yelled by teammates after an opposing player has scored 20 points at your expense.

What does 3 and D mean? ›

3-and-D. Any player, typically not a star, who specializes mainly in three-point shooting ("3") and defense ("D"). The term is most often used in the NBA, where this specific skill set has been increasingly valued in the 21st century.

Why do basketball players say wolf? ›

Whenever our point guard has the basketball and is advancing up court, and one of our team realizes that there is someone coming from behind, we'll yell “Wolf”, and that is his cue to switch hands, or to look around his shoulders to realize there is a guy coming who is ready to knock the ball away.

What is basketball slang? ›

Common basketball slang

Block city: When a player is able to consistently block their opponents. Dagger: This is a shot that a player takes at a pivotal part of the game, typically in the last few seconds. It often silences an otherwise rowdy crowd. Dropping dimes: This is when a player uses fancy passes.

What is a peach basket? ›

The nets used by athletes to dunk the ball and score points in the beloved game of basketball evolved from peaches, or rather the baskets used to collect peaches. That's what a young athletic director ultimately used on a cold day back in 1891 for a new game he created to keep his students engaged.

What does basketball do to your body? ›

Health benefits of basketball

burn calories (an hour of basketball can burn 630–750 calories) build endurance. improve balance and coordination. develop concentration and self-discipline.

What's a fun fact for the day? ›

Fun Facts and Trivia
  • It is impossible for most people to lick their own elbow. ...
  • A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
  • A shrimp's heart is in its head.
  • It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

What are good basketball cheers? ›

Cheers for When Your Team is on Offense
  • Take it Down, Put it Up, Shoot it in, Let's Win! ...
  • Clap, Stomp, Shoot for Two! ...
  • Oh! ...
  • Get Out of the Way, Work it. ...
  • I'm Sayin' Swish! ...
  • Make That Shot! ...
  • Dribble the Ball! ...
  • Go [Team Color]!

What do you say to a basketball player before a game? ›

#1 Wishing you the best of luck during today's game! Always remember that when the going gets tough, the tough get going! I know that you are one tough cookie, so don't be afraid to push yourself harder than you think you can! #2 I hope that your game tonight goes really well.

Where did the defense chant start? ›

In 1969, the New York Knicks of the NBA were a championship-caliber, defense-minded team—not unlike Howell's Giants before them. That year, pro basketball fans introduced the "Dee-Fense" chant to Madison Square Garden.

What does bricked up mean? ›

The expression 'bricked up' means getting an erection at the wrong time. Typically, teens and men in their twenties experience the sensation of being 'bricked up' in class or at work. It's when you have a hard-on and can't move around because people will see it through your pants.

Is it tee up or t up? ›

phrasal verb. tee something up | tee up. ​to prepare to hit a golf ball by placing it on a tee.

What do you call someone who loves basketball? ›

Baller. The term baller originally referred to basketball players.

What is the hardest shot in basketball? ›

Slam Dunk

The dunk is usually the most spectacular shot and is one of the toughest feats in basketball.

What does 6 mean in sports? ›

The phrase is used when describing how many games it will take for a team to win a series. If someone thinks a team will win in six games, they say they will win “in 6.” I.e. “The Heat will win in six. When someone says “in 6” they mean that there will be six total games played throughout the series.

What does 3 and D wing mean? ›

As the name itself suggests, 3-and-D players are specialist players that bring two things to their teams, long-range three-point shooting (3) and defense (D). As capable shooters, they stretch the opposition defense, and as versatile defenders, they can switch between defending smaller guards and big men.

What does beef mean in basketball? ›

Good form is the key to good shooting. From Tara VanDerveer, remember the acronym "BEEF" - Balance. Eyes. Elbow. Follow-Through.

What is a basket in basketball called? ›

The game is played between two teams, with five players per team allowed on the court at any one time. Points are scored by getting the ball through a hoop called 'the goal' or 'the basket', and the team scoring the most points wins.

What is A and 1 in basketball? ›

An and-one in basketball is a phrase used to describe when a player makes a shot and is fouled in the act of shooting. The player will receive one free throw in addition to the points they scored.

What does dropping dimes mean? ›

For example, “dropping a dime” is a way to label a person a snitch or someone who tells on another person. Again, the reference to making a phone call is used as when someone tells (calls) authorities to inform someone has broken the law, thus snitching on them.

What does butter mean in basketball? ›

In basketball and other such timed sports, a buzzer beater is a shot that is taken before the game clock of a quarter, a half (if the half is the second one, then, a game), or an overtime period expires but does not go in the basket until after the clock expires and the buzzer sounds hence the name "buzzer beater".

What does OD in slang mean? ›

overdose. Usually in drug use. When someone dies from heroin, it's usually an OD (overdose)

What is a good basketball caption? ›

Tricks, dribble, ankle-break, good smile – basketball is life. Aim higher, dream bigger. Defend and Dominate! I'm playing until the soles wear off my basketball shoes.

What is a basketball slogan? ›

Inspirational Basketball Slogans

Push yourself because no one else is going to do it for you. Reach for the Sky or don't even try. A champion is someone who gets up, even when he can't. The true champion loses many battles before winning the war. Some people want it, some people wish it, others just make it happen.

What is basketball slang? ›

Common basketball slang

Block city: When a player is able to consistently block their opponents. Dagger: This is a shot that a player takes at a pivotal part of the game, typically in the last few seconds. It often silences an otherwise rowdy crowd. Dropping dimes: This is when a player uses fancy passes.

What is slang for basketball player? ›

Baller. The term baller originally referred to basketball players.

What are the most savage lines? ›

General Savage Instagram Captions
  • I'm a hot girl but I never lose my cool.
  • Does my sparkle burn your eyes?
  • Just like the alphabet, I come before U.
  • Why chase you when I'm the catch?
  • No GPS but it's my turn.
  • 20/20 vision and I still don't see any competition.
  • I'm none of your business.
  • Sit up when I walk in.
29 Jul 2022

How do you say good luck in basketball? ›

#1 Wishing you the best of luck during today's game! Always remember that when the going gets tough, the tough get going! I know that you are one tough cookie, so don't be afraid to push yourself harder than you think you can! #2 I hope that your game tonight goes really well.

Whats a good title for a basketball story? ›

Hoops, They Did It Again” “Actions Speak Louder Than Coaches” “Balling!” “Uptown Dunk”

How do you move in basketball? ›

5 Simple Basketball Moves ANYONE CAN DO! [WORKS LIKE ] - YouTube

What does dropping dimes mean? ›

For example, “dropping a dime” is a way to label a person a snitch or someone who tells on another person. Again, the reference to making a phone call is used as when someone tells (calls) authorities to inform someone has broken the law, thus snitching on them.

What does butter mean in basketball? ›

In basketball and other such timed sports, a buzzer beater is a shot that is taken before the game clock of a quarter, a half (if the half is the second one, then, a game), or an overtime period expires but does not go in the basket until after the clock expires and the buzzer sounds hence the name "buzzer beater".

What does Wolf mean in basketball? ›

Whenever our point guard has the basketball and is advancing up court, and one of our team realizes that there is someone coming from behind, we'll yell “Wolf”, and that is his cue to switch hands, or to look around his shoulders to realize there is a guy coming who is ready to knock the ball away.

What does OD in slang mean? ›

overdose. Usually in drug use. When someone dies from heroin, it's usually an OD (overdose)

What do you call a 3 pointer in basketball? ›

A 'trey' in basketball is another name for a three-point shot attempt. The term is widely used by announcers and color commentators to describe the action during a live TV broadcast. Other synonymous names include 'trey ball' and 'downtown.

What does T up mean in text? ›

(slang) To have sex with, to bonk, etc. verb. (regional English, slang) To butt: said of a ram.

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